mr foer, j safran

I am listening to christmas music and reading everything is illuminated and thinking on jonathan safran foer, the person, the man that he is...the father that is he is [just looked at wiki article, he has a son]...it is a book to be brokenhearted with...it makes me think so much...so much more than i have been doing because to think means that i have to think about everything and i dont think i can take that...life...people...my grandfather...expectations...not wanting to think about ever having to see or hear him cry...the movie was a lot more positive...maybe a little heartbreaking at the end...but the book is infusing all consuming...it seems realer than my life right now...i want to be safe again, really safe...being overfed at teatime and looking into deep dog eyes...feeling that weight on my knee...i want to have the sort of conversation that is bright sunshine and strawberry rasna...i want a new year on a terrace...i want the past...i want my dads past...i want what i know i cannot have...and never did. its just me and my nostalgic whitewash, forgetting things that i dont remember now buried in that blocked off part of me. this is not about some deep dark horrible secret. just little everyday things. unnoticed. a word here. a word there. words that made the world a little darker and crumbly. where is home? what is home?

metamorphosis

...it's like sometimes a book is just unreadable cause ur just in the wrong place to get it...like reading a solitary blue when ur feeling upbeat and like u have the most perfect family in the world is just wrong...you need to be blue...u need to get what feeling a bit disconnected from people is like...ok exteme example cause he was seriously messed up by melody and im fine mostly...but anyhoo moving on...am reading Kafka's metamorphosis at the moment, and in a way i do feel sometimes like an insect speaking an entirely different language, where i can still understand others, they just dont get me...iv got insect legs...and feelers...and cloaca? lol...ha ha robin williams' favourite word...actors studio questionnaire...it is very genius. watched nother epi of studio 60 today, i liketh the show muchly i must say. the harriet+matt thing is just so much so much the cuteness.

ERGH

Boicot a la presencia de Guillermo Habacuc Vargas en la Bienal Centroamericana Honduras 2008 Petition

this makes me so sick...you can translate this using: www.freetranslation.com
and go here for background info: http://news.deviantart.com/article/36326/?offset=75#comments

*makes sound along the lines of ohh the cuteness*

natasha has the lowelyest video blog on that thing on the side iv got here..it gets updated with new vid...love her! ...the other blog that is incredibly worth it to chek out and rewarding is: www.johnmayer.com/blog he is the real deal ladies and germs...he is the shit...for sure...his latest happy birthday chad is wow...but i do think he is a bit unfair to fans like me who simply do not have 125 quid to spend on a ticket on top of transport to london... why mr mayer why? please come to leeds and play in a smaller venue i beg of you... for me! for a cheeepoosa penniless girll....please!! please! c'mon i am ze pimping ur blog! *pout* he he love that mayer man stil... but what i really really want is ben folds... in leeds...in the uk...anywhere....after sept 26...i wil so go and see him. genius! love! what was it like john boi? what was it like touring with the folds man? eh??

nightmares and bad news

wil be so relieved after i giv the diss in for printing...
cannot wait for monday..cannot wait to get to chennai
the wedding on wed will be a lovely break!
had a disturbed night..tensiony dreamaage...n horrible man u news
just so so so shite...smith...heinze...just wrong it all is...and the stupid tevez business...
and also for my amusement i feel that the fia shud just disqualify ferrari and mclaren instead of what they r currently doing, which is bledy ignoring all wrongdoing...then some daft person like barrichello or coulthard can win the championship...yaay! meh...whatever...
i just want to get home and relax...i get 4 proper days in chennai with my pinkay
then 4 days in blore with pinkay, k, s, d and l...happy happy...cannot wait to talk and talk and talk and lose my voice...then after the pinkay leaves i wil be the good lil auntiji and bond with the baaba...and all that... shud be good...nothing nothing will ruin my mood then...
and now back to editing grammatical errors out of my diss.
good afternoon and good luck.