i feel very satisfied right now. just finished painting 4 small canvases for the dining room [buttercups, grass, weeds..to echo the view :)] and am listening to a perfect playlist accidentally composed on last fm.. thinking about how if i were to watch the first 3 seasons of LOST now..id probably hate kate more than i did back then [i still hated her tho]...and grin with glee at evil gandhi glasses ben because i know whats coming...i know he turns into ben in black [with the best one liners, who always has a plan!] my point is...i can never go back to the point when i looked at it without knowing the back story... and its not just LOST. things can never go back to the way they were before i stumbled upon the hidden lifes of the people involved in any scenario... so the memory of anything is informed by all this extra knowledge unknown to me at the time. connecting and linking separate bits of information and applying it to moments when maybe they didn't apply...i can never know what really happened. lol i dont mean this in a negative way. just what with my own senility and warping of memories and remembering things that never happened...and completely blocking out other things...the past almost never existed. and thats probably why i keep so much stuff. ticket stubs. to remember. to fool myself that i remember halfway accurately.
and here's me telling the world what to do :)
to read: extremely loud & incredibly close - jonathan safran foer [it's still weighing upon my brain and making itself felt...] listen to: nada surf watch: the history boys [it is working its way up my fave movies list, very rewatchable]
ps. post title is also a goldspot song
pps. if there was a big apocalyptic clash between superman/dinosaurs/zombies [whoever else you want] and benjamin linus. ben would win.
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